One Person at a Time
Recently I have been asked, “What’s your success rate?” It’s always by people who genuinely care about what we are doing and believe in us, and I appreciate the inquiry. In fact, it is the kind of question that I have encouraged donors to ask of any organization they give their hard-earned money to support, yet I find that it can be a difficult question to answer. It’s not difficult because I don’t know, it’s difficult because I’m not sure the person asking will use the same metric. There is complexity and nuance required in the answer.
Marcella* just moved out to her own apartment and is getting her little one to school every day.
Brooklyn is enrolled in Fresno City College, turning her assignments in on time, and meeting with her mentors.
Andy is getting along with his grandparents a little better, his mental health has improved, and his school attendance is not perfect, but is pretty good so far this school year.
Those are big successes. Each of those individuals has overcome challenges, has received support, and has seen improvement. It’s the kind of story people want to hear, and, frankly, the kind we really enjoy telling, but how do we measure and rate success in the lives of individuals based on one moment in their story?
We didn’t tell the other points along the journey, when Marcella lost custody of her child and had to overcome addiction, when Brooklyn told the truth about the abuse she was suffering in her foster home, which put her at odds with both foster and biological family members, or when Andy was considering a way out of the pain he was facing. We don’t tell about the hardest parts of a person’s story while they are in it, and that makes it sound like those days aren’t successful, but that’s simply not true.
When Marcella called and asked if we could help her find a place to stay, that was a success! I’m confident she didn’t see it that way, having just lost everything, but it took courage and strength and humility to reach out. It’s tempting to say that phone call began a journey toward healing for Marcella, but that’s not the whole truth etiher. That was just the next step on a journey she had begun years before, one with plenty of setbacks and also successes.
When Brooklyn decided she wasn’t going back there, when she had to stand up to her own mother and talk to a social worker, she didn’t feel like she had won the lottery. Even so, she stood her ground and brought in support to do the hardest thing she hard ever done. This courage set her on the path to freedom and self-determination.
When Adam agreed to come to a game night with people he didn’t know in a drop-in center, he was bravely hoping for connection and also feeling lonely. Coming anyway, making some friends, and finding fun for a little bit during a dark season doesn’t make all of the other things disappear, but offers a bright spot for a moment and the hope that there might be more moments in the future.
Walking with people through life isn’t something you can measure. We all have tough days we’d rather forget, but getting through those days is still a success. The opportunity to walk alongside others is a gift.
Our success rate? One person at a time. We measure success by the courage it takes to face adversity and make progress, no matter how small. Walking with people through their journey is our greatest privilege and the truest measure of what we do.
*Names used are fictitious, but the stories reflect actual cases.
**Thanks to advisory board member David Plassman for offering the perfect answer this week. “One person at a time.”